I Really Don’t Know What To Do
Current mood:
confusedNow I am starting to question my feelings for Jon. I don't know why but I think I may break up with him. I guess I've just fell our of love with him, I really don't know. And I really don't know what to do either. Some people tell me to break up with him if I'm feeling this way and others are telling me just to wait it out. This is really hard for me to do because I really don't want to break his heart. I really hate how I feel because sometimes when I have a boyfriend I don't want one, and when I'm single I do want one. This makes me feel like a complete and total bitch. I really do think I'm messed up in the head especially since I'm starting to feel those things. I don't know if it's the distance, him being himself, or if I've just lost my feelings completely. It could also have to do with his parents not letting him come down for Winter Formal. That was a big and major disappointment and I think that set it off. I just really don't know what to fucking do! I think that I've just been screwed over by so many guys that I can't stand to be with one too long. We've been together for 4 months and 15 days, my longest, and by far his longest I really don't know if I should break up with him now and see how I feel later or wait now and see how I feel. I think it may be that I can't stand to be with a guy too long. Which sucks ass. I just don't want to be the girl that broke his heart. But I don't like lying to him when I say I love him when I don't know if I really do or not. Last night it just about killed me when he said "I love you." Half the time I just ignored him like I never heard him say it. That's what sucks when someone in a relationship loses interest, the other one always ends up getting hurt. It's looking like right now Jon's the one that's going to get hurt.
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