Confused
Current mood:
confusedI am so fucking confused right now. I don't know if it's that time of month or what but I feel like my feelings for him have just gone away. It really makes me mad that I lose feelings for people and it makes me wonder if I'll ever find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I really do love Jon but I don't know if what I feel toward his is just friends or if it's more than that. It's really tearing me apart right now. I just need someone to talk to but I don't know who will be able to help me with this. I mean Jon hasn't done anything wrong, I don't think. Sometimes I just think that he's just a friend or he acts too childish for me. Which probably means that I have grown up in a ways. The last time I started to doubt my feelings for someone was with "it" and I broke up with him. I really don't want to do that to Jon and I don't want to do that to myself. I really hate feeling the things I feel. And if I ever let him on to me doubting my feelings I know he would be heart-broken. Why does it have to be that these things happen to? I think it may be just because that he lives so far away, recent events that have happened, and him not acting so mature lately. I really don't know what to do. I think I am just going to try to stop thinking about this and just wait a while and see how I feel. And I'm going to talk to my friends and see if they know what I should do or what's going on with me. Other crappy things have been going on lately too. I have a lot of trouble breathing and it's really starting to worry me. But that's all I have to say. I'm going to try to forget the feelings I have, cause they suck ass.
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