Hardships, April 4, 2008, 9:43PM

Hardships

Current mood:worried

My mom isn’t acting right and it’s really starting to scare me.  I think she’s having a mental episode.  I’m pretty sure she is suppose to be taking medication but I’m not so sure she’s taking it and she’s hardly sleeping.  She finds any little reason to get mad at me and she’s way over the edge.  She talks nonstop now and she’s thinking of doing these crazy things like run for the Register of Deeds.  I really want my old mom back where we didn’t fight as much.  Plus she didn’t really bring up my religion a lot when she was alright and now she’s trying to press it.  I don’t like being forced to believe something I’m not sure about.  And she’s trying to shove Christianity down my throat which is actually pushing me further and further away from it.  I never really didn’t believe in it but I don’t not believe in it either.  I just want to get away from her for a while.  When she acts like this I really get scared about what she will do.  Like when my mamaw Shields died, I didn’t go to the funeral or to go view the body with my mom.  I stayed with my dad in the waiting room and it tore her up.  Dad stayed because he doesn’t really looking at dead people because he says he doesn’t want to remember them dead lying in a casket, which I think makes perfect sense.  My mom told me to go in there and touch her and say goodbye.  That really freaked me out so I never went in there.  I feel the same way my dad does plus I don’t really want to be around dead people.  After my papaw Danner died I haven’t been able to stand going to funerals.  Going to his really tore me up inside and I haven’t been able to go to one since.  I just wish my mom would get back to normal because I don’t know how much more of this I can take.